Husbands….Love Your Wives
Colossians 3:19 reads, "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them."
Pastor’s Blog Kevin Jesmer NIU UBF 9-12-09
We talked a lot about Christian wives and how the husband is the head of the household. But what about Christian husbands? Colossians 3:19 reads, "Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them." Paul might have brought this up because Christian men, influenced by Roman custom, were not used to treating their wives with respect and love. But Christian men must be different than your typical “Ancient Roman” man. How should a man love his wife? “Love” here, does not mean physical love “eros”. Physical love is limited. Paul means “agape” love, which is God’s love for people. Think about Jesus’ love for us. A husband must love his wife as Christ loved the church. Listen to what Paul says in Ephesians 5:25-28, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Jesus loved us unconditionally. Husbands need to reflect this love with their wives. Jesus’ love is also a love that takes the initiative. When there is a spat between a husband and a wife, someone has to take the initiative to restore the relationship. God is also evangelical in his love. With this in mind, we can determine to reveal Jesus to our wives. God’s love is unconditional and sacrificial. The best way is to have sincere concern for her spiritual life. Mostly Jesus gave up his life to save us. Husbands should commit their lives to loving their wives. If there is still confusion, then husbands should think about how much they love their own bodies. Then they will know how to love their wives.
The love of God is like heavenly sunshine. Love is like living water to a thirsty soul. A woman is like a beautiful flower that can blossom into fullness with heavenly sunshine. Just as men need a wife’s respect to grow as a man, a woman, with her husband’s love can blossom and grow. Then they continue to be more and more beautiful and spiritual. When children see and hear their parents loving and respecting each other, they can be very secure and happy. Indeed the best gift that a father can give their kids is to love their mother.
Paul tells Christian husbands not to be harsh with their wives in verse 3:19b. A husband should never be harsh. As we already established, women are like flowers. Men are rough and can easily crush flowers. Men try to protect their pride. They want respect. If a husband does not feel respected then some men react by being harsh. A man’s harsh treatment of his wife can come from a lack of understanding about humanity, thoughtlessness and selfishness. It could come from a lack of experience with the grace of God themselves. It could be a very bad habit. A husband should never be harsh. When a person is harsh it generally means that they are loosing their means of control. Harshness is a last desperate attempt to stay in control. There are other ways than to resort to harshness. What about praying for and serving each other instead? Ultimately, we need to realize our weaknesses and ask for God’s help. Then men will surely be husbands who can love our wives as Christ loved the church and God can be glorified.
