By Kevin Jesmer NIU UBF 5-25-11
Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
Let’s face it. As Christian parents we all want children who are like Jesus in his youth. But what does it take for parents to make an atmosphere in their home where God can work to call a child to this level of sincerity and devotion? We will see what the Bible teaches. Then we will see some examples from famous parents in Christian history, like William Penn, Susanna Wesly, and Ruth Graham. We will then think of some issues that hinder us from providing such an environment for raising our kids, an environment through which God can work.
Part l: We All Want Kids Like The Boy Jesus.
Luke 2:41-51, “Every year his parents went to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. 42 When he was twelve years old, they went up to the Feast, according to the custom. 43 After the Feast was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. 44 Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. 45 When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46 After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47 Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. 48 When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.” 49 “Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” 50 But they did not understand what he was saying to them. 51 Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”
Let’s face it. As Christian parents we all want children who are like Jesus in his youth. Jesus went to all the religious festivals held in Jerusalem. He fully particiated in the Jewish religious life. He was a young man who liked to talk about spiritual things. He was so into talking about spiritual things that he forgot that his own family had left to go home from the festival. He was engaging the religious leaders in such deep and profound conversation that they were truly amazed. His parents were astonished. He grew up spiritual and obedient and he grew in favor with God and man. We all want Christian kids like this. Sometimes we expect God to just make our kids like this with little of no effort on our part. But what does it take for parents to make an atmosphere in their home where God can work to call a child to this level of sincerity and devotion?
Part ll: What The Bible Teaches
Genesis 18:18-19, “18 Abraham will surely become a great and powerful nation, and all nations on earth will be blessed through him. 19 For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just, so that the LORD will bring about for Abraham what he has promised him.”
Deuteronomy 6:4-9, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one.[a] 5 Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
Ephesians 6:4, “ 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
From these verses we learn several spiritual lessons. From God’s direction to Abraham we see that he was called to set the example for household, by doing what is right and just. This is hard. As parents we should never say, “Do as I say, but not as I do.” Rather we must say, “Do as I do.”
From the Lord’s instructions in Deuteronomy we learned that we need to impress the words of God on our children. We need to discuss the word of God with them at home, as we go for walks, in the morning and when we go to bed. I don’t think that the young people in 1400 B.C. were much different in regards to receiving instruction in the Lord as kids are today. They were not eagerly begging their parents to impress the word of God on them. Most likely they did not like it. But if we wait until our kids like it and ask for it, we may be waiting forever and miss the opportunity to impress the words of God on their hearts.
From Proverbs we learn that we need to train our children in the Lord. The word “train” is not a casual word. To train means to do something deliberate. Training is repetative. Training is persistent. It may not be pleasreable at the time but it reaps many benfits and makes a person stronger and more able to overcome hardships. All of these principles apply to raising our kids.
Paul teaches the Ephesian Christian fathers to bring their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. To do this fathers not only need to know the Bible but they also need to be able to teach the Bible and show its application. Bringing them up in it, implies a lifestyle.
Part lll: Some Examples Set By Parents In Christian History.
From a letter written by William Penn (Quaker Preacher, author, founder of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania) to his wife. His wife and children had left for the America on Oct 1862. He wrote letters to them for their guidance. Here is an exerpt that shows the importance of family devotionals.
“…be diligent in meetings for worship and business. And let meetings be kept once a day in the family to wait upon the Lord, who has given us much time for ourselves. ….”
(“No Cross, No Crown.” by William Penn)
(“Great Women Of The Christian Faith”, Edith Deen. 1959. p. 366)
“The training Susanna Wesley gave her children is indicated by this letter she wrote to her eldest son Samuel, who became a preacher:
‘Consider well what a separation from the world, what purity, what devotion, what expemplary virtue are required in those who are to guide others to glory…I would advice you to arrange your affairs by a certain method, by which means you will learn to improve every precious moment…begin and end each day with Him who is the Alpha and the Omega, and if you really experience what is the love of God, you will redeem all the time you can for His more immediate service. Endeavor to act upon principle and do not live like the rest of mankind, who passs through the world like straws upon a river, which are carried which way the stream or the wind drive them…Get as deep an impression on your mind as is possible of the constant presence of the great and holy God. He is about our beds and about our paths and spies out all our ways. Whenever you are tempted to the commission of sin, or the ommission of any duty, pause and say to yourself, ‘What am I about to do? God sees me.’”
“In her ‘household school,’ for six hours a day through twenty years, she taught her children so thoroughly that they became unusually cultured. There were not one of them in whom she did not instill a passion for learning and righteousness.’…’When her son John became a noted man, he begged her to write down some details of the education of her children, to which she reluctantly consented. She confessed, ‘No one can, without renouncing the world in the most literal sense, observe my method. There are few, if any, who would devote about twenty years of the prime of life in hopes to save the souls of their children.’
“She began to train her children by a rather strict method of living as soon as they were born. From their birth she also began to train their wills, making them realize they must obey their parents. They were even taught to cry softly, to eat or drink whatever was given them. Drinking or eating between meals was never allowed, unless they were sick. At age six, as soon as the family prayers were over, they had their supper. At eight they were put to bed and told to go to sleep. ‘No such thing was allowed in our house,’ this mother reports, ‘as sitting by a child till it fell asleep.’ The loud noise children generally make was seldom heard in the Wesley house. Laughter and play, on the other hand were common sounds.
The spiritual welfare of her children mattered most to Susanna. She gave them an appreciation of the things of the spirit, and this teaching she carried on into their more mature years. Even when she was an old woman, her son John still came to his devout mother for counsel. Not to Methodists alone but to the whole world Susanna Wesly gave a new freedom of faith, a new spark of vital religion and a new intimacy with God.
It is no wonder that this mother who so often prayed, ‘Grant me grace, O Lord, to be wholly a Christian,’ should produce a great Christian like John Welsey. ‘Help me, Lord,’ she prayed, ‘to remember that religion is not to be confined to the church or closet, nor exercised only in prayer and meditation, but that I am everywhere in Thy Presense.’”
(“Great Women Of The Christian Faith”, Edith Deen. 1959. p. 142-144)
Ruth Bell Graham, wife of evangelist Billy Graham, She was born to missionary parents in Tsingkiang, China, in 1920, where she was raised in staunch Presbyterian piety, with daily doses of private and family devotions and being expected to memorize large portions of the Bible.
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/juneweb-only/124-43.0.html
The following is and exerpt from Franklin Graham’s autobiography, “Rebel With A Cause.” In it he explains Ruth Graham’s daily spiritual life as she raised her kids.
“Though my folks insisted we go to church every Sunday, as far back as I can remember, my parents never crammed religion down my throat. They did try to instill in all of us kids the importance of a personal relationship with God. Every evening our family had devotions before we went to bed. Mama or Daddy would read a short passage from the Bible and then we would each say a sentence prayer. In the morning, Mama or Daddy would lead us in prayer before we left the house for school. It didn’t matter who was in the house at the time – our housekeeper, caretaker, or guests – it was something everyone did in our home. I can’t remember a day when this didn’t happen.
My parents also encouraged us to memorize Scripture verses. One of the ways they did this was on Sunday after church and lunch, before we could go out to play, we had to memmorize a verse and recite it to Mama, almost word perfect. She did make a few exceptions. When we complained that the verses were too difficult, she let us pick our own. She didn’t care as long as it was the Word of God. This got us reading the Bible to find short verses such as ‘Jesus wept.’ It didn’t bother Mama. Mama and Daddy believed that the time would come when their children would need the strength of God that comes through his word. They knew that one day we would be out on our own; yet God would always be with us. And they were right.
I didn’t mind the devotions, especially at night, because Mama often told stories from the Bible and mixed them with her own experiences from growing up in China.”
“Rebel With A Cause” Frankin Graham. 1995 pages 8-9.
Part lV: Things That Hinder Our Kids From Growing As Servants Of Jesus
There are so many things that stop us from making such and environment.
First, we don’t think that being so extreme is necessary. I don’t think that being passive and casual about about discipling our kids is a good idea. Let’s face the fact that we are in a spiritual battle for our kid’s souls. The devil and the influences of our godless culture are working overtime to capture our childrens’ hearts. We need to work twice as hard to win their souls over to Jesus.
Second, We don’t want to set the example ourselves. It is hard work to teach the truth. We need to set the example. If we want our kids to pray we need to pray. If we want them to go to church, we need to. We just can’t drop our kids off to youth group for free babysitting and ignore church ourselves.
Third, we are waiting until they are willing and happy about it. Let’s face it. Most kids are willing and eager to watch t.v., text, go on facebook and watch movies and play video games. This is true even for Christian kids. They may never be willing. But we need to still introduce a Biblical lifestyle into their lives.
Fourth, we are afraid of turning them off from Christianity. Like I said, the Devil is working night and day to turn our kids off from Jesus. 50% of Christian kids who go into college emerge unbelievers. If we leave them alone they will be turned off. This world is full of sad stories of kids who have gone astray. Most have gone astray not from strict Christian parents, but from parents afraid to impose spiritual discipline in the home.
Fifth, we are afraid of loosing our kids’ love for us. Sometimes we are held hostage with the threat that our kids won’t love us anymore if we impose our faith on them too much. There is a saying, “be careful how you treat your kids, they will choose your nursing home.” They could either love you or hate you or avoid you. What if we were too soft and our kids grow up to be sincere Christians and they grew up thinking that we raised the family in a compromised, “wishy washy” way? Ultmately we need to do what we need to do before God and trust God. If we are truthful and sincere our kids will respect us for that in the long run. Our lives will show them the way.
Sixth, our expectations are too low. We are tempted to think that if our kids get a good edcation, a nice job, start a family, attend church sporatically and pay lip service to Jesus, then that is the ultimate success story. We may not even have a hope and a prayer for them to be servants of Christ. Our low standards may be hindering our kid’s spiritual growth.
Even if we try our best to impress the faith on the hearts of our children, this does not mean that it will happen. Even the great prophet Samuel had sons who went astray. But we can make a a difference. All the people mentioned influenced their kids and some of their kids grew to be strong Christians who changed the course of world history. By God’s grace it could happen in each of our homes too. But we need to take creating a spiritual atmosphere in our homes very seriously and concern deeply on raising up our kids as disciples of Jesus.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)